Thursday, February 22, 2007

Hollaback Girl

WARNING: The links included in this post may or may not be suitable for work. Depends on where you work, I guess.

Recently I was at the computer and Lily was channel surfing, and she stopped on channel 502, where Gwen Stefani was performing a previously recorded live concert. Numerous songs played, none of which I knew, but then Gwen Stefani's hit song Hollaback Girl started. I stopped my computing, went to see the performance, and Lily asked "What's a Hollaback Girl?" I had no idea what a Hollaback Girl was.

I recalled a song Gwen Stefani sung back in her days in the band No Doubt. That song is called "Just a Girl" (the music video for which world-famous editor Alan Chimenti is partially famous for editing completely) Then I thought there must be some relation between being "Just a Girl" and a "Hollaback Girl." We did some research on the world wide web and we found out what the relation is:

Just a Girl

Hollaback Girl

Just a Girl

Hollaback Girl

Now you know.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

500 25 thousand 600 minutes

I'm writing this immediately after watching the movie Rent, which was based on the play of the same name.

I hated that movie more than I've hated any other single movie before. I hated it so much that as I was washing the dishes afterward, I blurted out "I hate that movie so much because I wasted two hours of my life watching that piece of shit." Then I laughed at the fact that I blurted that out and resumed washing.

I hated Rent so much that I'm never watching another musical again as long as I live. I hated Rent so much that 10 minutes into the film I was thinking "I hope to God this movie is only 90 minutes. Please let it be only 90 minutes." It wasn't 90 minutes. It was 129 minutes, which is 39 minutes of excruciating pain too long. I didn't hate it so much that I wanted to tear my eyeballs out, but I need to see a movie that's good soon so I can take a firehose to Rent and power wash it out of my memory.

I knew I was gonna hate Rent so much as soon as it started. That fucking theme song is so insidious that I still can't get it out of my head a half hour later. 500 25 thousand 600 minutes! I will never watch another musical again.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I'm a Survivor

For the sake of anonymity, the person at the center of this post will remain anonymous. She doesn't want any readers to know her secret.

I have this roommate - we'll call her Lillian - and Lillian likes to watch the TV show Reba. It's the sitcom revolving around the life of Reba McEntire. After inadvertently viewing several snippets of episodes, I can't decide whether it's the life of Reba McEntire the country singer or just somebody with that name who has a sitcom. She doesn't really do any sort of work that I can perceive. Doesn't matter.

Where I'm going with this is the fact that we now have TiVo. Not really TiVo, but Time Warner Cable's version of TiVo, which they call DVR. Which is really a PVR, but maybe that name is copyrighted like TiVo. All I know is that DVR doesn't make any cartoony sounds when a button on the remote is pressed. Nor does it have a cartoony mascot icon thingy. It has no personality whatsoever, and that's fine as long as it does its job of recording television.

What I'm really getting at is that that Reba is taking up a lot of space on our DVR. Lillian did what's called a "series recording", which records Reba whenever it's on TV. It didn't take long for the DVR to start filling up to max capacity, because sometimes Reba is on 10 times daily.

Lillian has a hard time keeping up with the Reba on the DVR, and it seems like at time it's a job. "Got the DVR down to 65% full" she says. But when I go to see SportsCenter (the only series I'm currently recording), I can page down the DVR menu several times and it looks like I've been on the same page because it just has a list of about 7 lines that all say "Reba". The only perceptible clue to anything happening as I page down the menu is that slight flash of menu pages turning when the pages turn.

Recently Lillian was on one of her job-like crusades to watch and delete as many Rebas as possible in order to get the DVR down to a more comfortable level. She finished one Reba and deleted it, then said to me "I just deleted a Reba and the DVR didn't go down, it went up." Lillian was perplexed and somewhat distraught over the fact that her hard work didn't net any result, but instead did the opposite. I said "maybe it was recording a Reba while you were watching that one. There are like 10 on a day, and unless you can keep that up, it's a losing battle."

Lillian let out a heavy sigh. The she picked up the remote and watched another. Thank God there are only 125 episodes.

Thursday, February 01, 2007


The other night I was heading home from work and I was almost home when I remembered I forgot to get Lily some flowers. She'd had a rough weekend and I hoped that a bouquet would help her feel a little better.

It was around 7 pm and most flower places close around that time, but I spotted a place called Gourmet Grocer on Abbot-Kinney that looked like it might have something. I took a quick spin around the store. Gourmet it was, florist it wasn't. There were three men in there, one of which was tending shop.

I stepped up to the register and asked if they had any flowers.
The shopkeep said "We usually do, but the guy who does the flowers is on vacation this week."
Aargh. I asked "Any ideas where I can get some flowers around here?"

He looked over at the other guys in the store and shouted out "You guys know of any places to get flowers nearby?"

One guy said "There's Conroy's on Lincoln & Venice". And I'm wondering why I didn't think of that because it's just huge and on a busy intersection that I drive by all the time. But the reason I didn't think of that is because every time we drive by that busy intersection, Lily mentions how much she doesn't like that place or their selection of flowers.

I said "oh right, now I remember. Conroy's". As I walked out the door thinking "okay, time to drive around some more" the third guy said "there's a flower shop maybe 40 feet down Abbot-Kinney called Sentiments (Scentiments is the correct spelling). They've got a really nice selection."

That sounded a hell of a lot more promising than Conroy's. As I walked out, I made of note of it. Not the flower place. But that if I'm ever in a bind to find last-minute flowers, ask a bunch of guys. They'll know where to go.